THE GRUESOME GROTTO: Take A Tiki Sneaky Peeky At My Home Bar In Progress!

I live on an island. Unfortunately, it’s not a tropical island. Instead, it’s in the Pacific Northwest. Whidbey Island has many attractive features about it; a slower-pace, wildlife, and beautiful, scenic vistas to name a few. It also has its detractions, such as cold, snowy winters and dreary, gray days. One of the biggest negatives for me has been my new home’s proximity to tiki bars. The closest commercial one (the wonderfully comfortable Red Rum in Bellingham, WA) is an hour and a half away. I’ve met a couple (Will and Dawn Hawkins) with a fantastic home tiki bar that’s only about 15 minutes away. That’s much better, but my time there is limited to only when I am invited over.

Well, there is a new tiki bar on Whidbey that is set to open in the near future. The most amazing part is that I’ll be able to visit it any time I like and it’s super close to my house. In fact, it’s just downstairs! Yes, after being only a mere pipe dream several months ago, Monster-A-GoGo’s Gruesome Grotto will soon be a reality.

Getting to this point was…interesting. I have no tools to speak of and have never been very handy. In addition, my neuro-muscular problems really hinder my ability to do things. I’d need help.

My mother really came through for me. I can’t thank her enough. She hired her electrician and handyman to get the job done. This was back in the spring. The electrician came out and did a some electrical modifications. The rest would be completed once the handyman added a few things.

That’s where the problem lay, the handyman.

“Wes” (not his real name) did some amazing work on a rental house my mother owns. He has many creative ideas and actually briefly worked in Hollywood making sets. (He worked on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES. I’m not sure what, if anything, else.) He was available (It’s so hard to find service people on the island.) and he worked fairly cheaply. Sounds like a cake walk, right?

Wes showed up and liked the project—as it was outside of his normal, routine jobs. The first day or so he got a good amount of work done, actually. But we noticed that his workdays were only two or three hours each—if that. And then the excuses began.

He’d text and say he couldn’t come in because he was sick, or he had to take care of his mom in Bellingham, or his cat had gotten out and he needed to find him.

Wes had started the project in late April/early May. Based on the amount of work he actually did do, it would have taken a normal 8-hour person a week—or less— to finish, but this dragged on and on and on.

May gave way to June. June happened and we were in July. Very little had been done in all of that time.

I was frustrated. On July 7^th, I sent him a text. Although we think he may have an alcohol problem or some other issues in his life, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I said I knew he had a lot going on and was perhaps working other jobs. I explained that I was thinking about just killing the project anyway as I didn’t know how much longer my mobility would last before I’m stuck in a wheelchair. I also mentioned that I had people scheduled to visit me who wanted to see a tiki room that just wasn’t coming together.

He took it as a personal attack. Whatever.

That didn’t stop me from continuing to to look through my stuff and buy things for (hopefully) future use in the bar.

He did pick up the pace a bit and got stuff done. Then it was back to the excuses while we spent hours waiting for him to show up. “I’m sick.” “I have a family emergency.” “I’ve had a rough morning.” UGH!

I talked to him and told him that my friend Gillian, a tikiphile from the Bay Area of California, was coming to Washington for a big tiki event weekend. I really hoped the room would be ready for her arrival. That seemed to switch his gears a little bit again, and he started working in earnest (Well, a couple of hours a day, at least.) on it again.

My trouble then fell on the electrician. He was originally told it would be a week or two before the things he needed completed would be done. Jump ahead, not two weeks but two months. When the parts necessary were ready, I called and texted multiple times—-and never heard a peep back.

But that didn’t stop me from jumping in and decorating. I was going through my stuff. I rediscovered many posters, prints, photographs, and other ephemera I had forgotten about or hadn’t seen in years. I had boxes and boxes (and boxes and boxes) of tiki mugs I needed to get through and display. As I write this, some things are still missing. (Where’s my personally autographed Don Ho photo?) What I have found has really brought the room to life. Ready or not (and it’s NOT), Gillian was coming. The night she’d arrive would be the first night the bar would be used as a bar. She, I, and my friend Erich (who has been here all summer and has been a great help with design decisions and layouts) would be the first three people to have a drink there.

I did get one of the lamps haphazardly hung up temporarily. The many others I have will have to wait to go up.

Without the proper tiki lighting, the added mystic of a tiki bar/room was missing. But in having standard lighting, it did allow Gillian a chance to see the room as it is now and envision what it will be like once the lighting is in place.

The drink I made us was someone else’s recipe. I didn’t have all of the ingredients, so I swapped out a few things…and it turned out pretty tasty!

Although I still have a long way to go on it—I can see light at the end of the tunnel. Monster-A-GoGo’s Gruesome Grotto will soon be finished.

I’ll drink to that!

CHEERS!